I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
