Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
