I smell stomach acid.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
