I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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