you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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