Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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