my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
