He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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