do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
