Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
