i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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