Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
