So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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