If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
