Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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