Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
