u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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