Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The chlamydia really affected his face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
