honey bunches of taint.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
