I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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