i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
