I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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