Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
