i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize