Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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