look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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