My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
