yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
