You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
worst night to have a conscience
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
