ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This house was built for laser tag.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
