i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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