did you get engaged???
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
