GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
People in love make me want to vomit
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
