I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
