It's Friday. Sex?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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