On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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