Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
