i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
