I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
