You're completely useless in the revolution.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
