Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
