I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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