i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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