Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
