Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
