Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
