i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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