Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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