Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
