You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
