You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
