Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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