You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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