Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize