you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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