playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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