I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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