You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
