He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize