We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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