I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
