Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
