i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
