Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
