Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
