I love black thongs
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
