I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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