so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
