You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
