Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
