dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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