does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
