Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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