so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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