Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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