Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i dont even know how to be here
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
