TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
